Saturday Report Card

The Heavy - How You Like Me Now (Joker Remix) by thefourthofficial

            The Fourth Official’s grades are back, ominous as ever, with a classic: Inter-Juve.

Internazionale FC 1 – 2 Juventus FC
Goals: Vucinic (12’) and Marchisio (33’) for Juventus, Maicon (28’) for Inter
Stadium: San Siro

The Game: 7 then 5. two diametrically opposed halves for an unstable game. If the first half was exhilarating with three goals, one crossbar, pace, technical quality and enthusiasm from the players and the fans, the second was just a tactical formality with Juventus nullifying all of Inter’s attempts at scoring. If the first half was Juventus, then the second was Inter.

Internazionale: 4. A disappointing performance from Ranieri’s men, never really able to match Juve’s spirit in the first half, except with Maicon’s surge of pride, and unable to break the deadlock in the second. A lot of work ahead.

Castellazzi: 6. Helpless on the first goal, helpless on the second, Castellazzi nevertheless pulled out some important saves, notably on Matri and Estegarribia, avoiding a bigger defeat to his team.

Maicon: 6 (5+1 for the goal): A neutral game for the Brazilian fullback if it wasn't for his goal, itself slightly lucky. Far from his top level.

Lucio: 5. A calamitous first half + a boss-mode second half = right in the middle. Eaten by Matri, then solid against Juve’s attacking waves.

Chivu: 4. Tricked by Matri. Tricked by Vucinic. Guilty on both goals. A tough night.

Nagatomo: 4. In a defense that slept all through first half, Yuto got a lesson from Lichtsteiner, a real constant fullback.

Cambiasso: 5/6: No more half grades TFO told himself, yet that doesn't seem to resolve the problem, especially for Cambiasso, successfully dominating Pirlo and Vidal in the first half hour, then slowly disappearing from the game.

Zanetti: 7. Running, experience, the only Inter player to tread over water.

Obi: 5. Like Zanetti a lot of running, but unlike his captain, not enough experience to impact such a game.

Sneijder: 6: If his vision and technical ability automatically place him in the higher tier of players, his lack of pace and tendency to repeat himself unveil his lack of form this season. Come back to us!

Zarate: 5/6: An encouraging performance from Mauro who relentlessly provoked his opponents, even if he tends to hold the ball a little too long.

Pazzini: 5. “Il Pazzo” was under the weather; just watch his header hit Buffon’s crossbar, isolated at the front of the Inter attack.

Subs:
Castaignos (in at 45’) 3/4: inexplicably replacing Zarate, the Dutchman added nothing to a game that had already slipped out of his team’s hands.

Stankovic (in at 64’) 5: replacing Obi, Dejan put in a lot of work with very little success.

Alvarez (in at 75’) 5: replacing Sneijder, it took him four minutes to receive a decent ball, and when he did, he had to diagonally dribble past 4 Juve players before attempting to make a good pass. What would have happened had he had more time on the pitch?

Juventus: 7/8. An impressive display of talent, confidence and strength by the Bianconeri, constantly stretching the game with their “4-2-4” formation. Talent floods all of Juventus’ lines, undoubtedly one of the “Bigs” of Serie A again.

Buffon: 6: Against a relatively passive Inter side, saved by his crossbar, this is one of Gigi’s easier wins against Inter.

Lichtsteiner: 6/7. Diligent defensively, at the origin of the first goal, a good game from the Swiss.

Barzagli: 6. A low key performance, a shadow worker.

Bonucci: 7. On Pazzini, Zarate or Sneijder, Bonucci was impeccable tonight, showing his tactical and technical abilities on many occasions. Juve fans rejoice…

Chiellini: 6. ….because if Chiellini has gone to a left back position, it’s only for the better. Strong and industrious, Chiellini got the better of his critics.

Vidal: 5. The only Juve player slightly under par with a few lost passes, his defensive work is still essential to his team’s good functioning.

Pirlo: Disbelief. Everything Pirlo does is magic, yet tonight he missed some of the easier passages of plays.

Marchisio: 7. Juve’s strong man proved again tonight his preciousness (and not the cute way). With an utmost important goal and intelligent passing in the midfield, especially making the Inter players run, Claudio also allowed himself a winning tackle on Zanetti.

Pepe: 6. Not the most flamboyant of players, Pepe nevertheless reveals himself perfectly in tune with coach Conte’s idea of a right winger: pace and will.

Vucinic: 6/7. Who knows how important that first goal is? He probably does.

Matri: 8. A bold grade, yes, but Matri proved himself to be Juventus’ number one weapon with his incessant calls, his ability to direct play (whether facing the goal or not), his one delicious assist to Marchisio and his strength. Also the reason why Vucinic got to score the first goal.

Subs:
Etegarribia (in at 70’) 6: replacing Matri, showed some good pace, had a real chance to seal the score, the young Paraguayan seems promised to a bright future at Juve.

Del Piero (in a 85’) NG: replacing Vucinic, Del Piero was just there so that we were sure it actually was Juve playing. Should have score the 3-1, but didn't bother to.

Pazienza (in at 89’) NG: replacing Vidal, no grade for four balls played.

TFO

Dance Thursday

           Today, Tom Waits helps us play.

Tom Waits - Raised Right Men (2011) by thefourthofficial

            Soccer is a dance like any other: from the tip of the toes, up the legs, through the waist and up to the shoulders, the rhythm of the ball dictates the body’s movements. Optimal contact between the two partners is a question of timing. Play Tom Waits’ “Raised Right Men”, watch, learn how to move with Serie A’s best dancers.

            Watch the ball drop, eliminate oblivious opponent by chesting it, snare drum beats. Move body in attacking rage mode with the high-hat on the upbeat. Let the ball bounce, snare drums beats again. Strike it on the upbeat with the organ chords. Watch the ball float in the air and reach the back of the net. Terrorize enemy. Nocerino’s powerful waltz.

            Receive the ball outside the box on the snare drum beat. Push the ball forward with the high hat upbeat to taunt adversary. Involve teammate with a low strong pass, second snare drum beat. Rush into the box as the other teammate returns the favor: an overhead deep pass, the high hat keeps us waiting. Tilt head backwards to follow the ball, once targeted, jump and throw right leg up for contact as the organ chords again spread fear. Lavezzi’s break dance.

            Follow the course of the play, snare drum beat. Watch teammates combine, high hat upbeat. Compute back pass and acutely decelerate your forward run, snare drum beats again. Gently push the sphere on your right, organ chords announce the contact. Raise left arm for balance, rock right leg back for power, hold head down for perfect height, caress the ball for desired spin. High hat opens, and closes, contact is made. Ball reaches the back net, the organ strikes again. Jovetic’s Tango.

Forget celebration dances, play.

TFO

           

Video Tuesday

           Today, the Fourth Official takes you on a Sunday afternoon walk, Kevin Prince Boateng’s that is. How do you revitalize your team when you’re three goals down after the first half? Well, you can actually do it all yourself. Kevin Prince scored three goals in fifteen minutes, before Yepes sealed Milan’s win at 4-3. Maybe one of the only instances where a hat-trick was just enough to tie a game. Boateng has definitely learned from teammate Seedorf and can now successfully place any shot just under the cross bar, left foot or right foot. Deservedly receiving a 9/10 in Monday’s Gazzetta, Boateng showed us how to take a pleasant Sunday stroll in Tuscany. 

TFO

Video Tuesday

The Free Kick

            As part of this week’s video fixture, and while we all wait for the Champion’s League to provide us with our fix of quality football, The Fourth Official shares his thoughts about one of his favorite passage of plays: the direct free kick.
            The direct free kick encapsulates at best the authoritative and manly spirit soccer can sometimes have: give me the ball, put it down and I’ll kick in the goal, no matter the keeper, no matter the four or five insignificant opponents trying to stop the shot by jumping whilst they hold onto their precious parts. With either power or trickery, the shooter immediately proves his superiority not only over his opponents but also over his own team. “I don’t need you to score, I can do it on my own, thank you very much.”
            If we have all seen innumerable compilation videos from Beckham, Ronaldinho, Zidane, Maradona, Roberto Carlos, Del Piero, Mihajlovic and many more (if you haven't yet, do it, it's an immediate source of pleasure), here are some of the Fourth Official’s favorites.
           

1. Maradona casually walking around the San Paolo amidst some journalists and gardeners decides to aim for the top right corner, in his running shoes, please. TFO especially likes his after-shot chuckle.

2.Alvaro Recoba vs. Bologna (02/03). On the slow-motion replay with the camera placed behind Recoba, make sure to notice how far wide the ball seems to be going at first. Only at first.

 

3. Hugo Almeida vs. Inter (04/05). Distance? Not a problem.

         
       
           
4. Juninho vs. Bayern (03/04). Anyone else would have had seen their knee cap pop right on the spot. 

TFO

Small Talk Monday

           After the international break, before the return of the Champion’s League, so really, nowhere. This week’s Serie A fixtures offered us a Rome derby with (finally) a surprise ending, three troubled tenors, one resuscitated and five goalless draws.

            It had been five years since Lazio won a derby against city rivals Roma. Five years hearing the Roma fans chanting: “Last time you won a derby, the Dead Sea was still the Sick Sea.” And it wasn’t until the 93^rd minute of the game that things seemed as if they were to change. Down 1-0 after only five minutes, the Biancocelesti came back at first with a generous penalty, and finally with a last minute adrenaline goal by Klose. Needless to say, the German striker is already a fan favorite. Lazio also benefitted from five-star performances by Brazilian midfielder Hernanes and French back-from-the-dead striker Cissé. Well deserved win for Reja’s men who seem capable of reaching new heights this season.

            If Lazio, now 6^th, overtook their opponents in the standings, Milan finally crept back up a hill that was starting to seem overwhelmingly steep. With a non-sequitur 3-0 home win over Palermo, the Rossoneri put on dazzling display of serenity to reach a more respectable 13^th spot. Nocerino (an ex-Palermo player), Robinho (first start of the season fist goal) and Cassano sealed the scored in a nonchalant manner, but it was Ibrahimovic who stole the show with one assist and one pre-assist (TFO invents technical terms). The weekend, more like Saturday, was much more treacherous to Napoli and Inter, both defeated. Inter lost 2-1 at Catania and Napoli were defeated by Parma at home. For the Nerazzuri, the equation “Cordoba plays=Inter lose” outlived the theory of relativity, and for Napoli, the season might seem longer than expected. Both were subject to one of their opponents’ players revival, Almiron for Catania and Modesto for Parma. Furthermore, both will hope the European midweek will replenish their confidence stock, especially Inter who now stands in 17^th position in the Serie A.

            The other “Big” to have lost points this weekend was Juventus. Free from any mid-week European commitment, the Bianconeri could not break Chievo’s defense in a less than non-eventful 0-0 draw. Del Piero’s post was close, but not purging. Juventus keep the lead of the Serie A with 12 points, ahead of Udinese who was also kept at bay with one of those goalless draws only the Serie A knows how to produce.

Full Results

-Cesena 0-0 Fiorentina

-Atalanta 0-0 Udinese

-Cagliari 0-0 Siena

-Chievo 0-0 Juventus

-Genoa 0-0 Lecce

-Novara 0-2  Bologna

Ramirez 48’, Acquafresca 64’

-Lazio 2-1 AS Roma

Hernanes 51’, Klose 93’ / Osvaldo 5’

-Catania 2-1 Inter

Amiron 47’, Lodi 51’ / Cambiasso 6’

-Milan 3-0 Palermo

Nocerino 41’, Robinho 55’, Cassano 64’

-Napoli 1-2 Parma

Mascara 76’ / Gobbi 59’, Modesto 82’

Again The Fourth Official apologizes for the quality of the videos posted, for all full highlights the TFO recommends http://www.footytube.com/.