Que pasa con tigo?

Gorillaz – New Genious (Brother)

The whole point of a game report with its chronological breakdown and the grades is, in the first place, to inform you of a game you did not see. That’s why the first ever Europa League Final between Atletico Madrid and Fulham was probably the best candidate of all for this tedious exercise, mostly because no one care….saw it.

Mid May, Spring has settled in, the flowers are out and so are the miniskirts. Well, not quite so in Northern Germany: 7°C and pouring rain in Hamburg’s ultra modern Arena. Mid May, the championships are about to end, only a couple of European titles remain to be discerned, just in time for the usual big club names to fight it all out. Once again, not quite so. Continuing the long lost tradition of the defunct UEFA Cup (aka the “Youfuckup”), the Europa League offered us an underdogish display. Atletico Madrid, La Liga’s 2010 disappointment and longtime failure-recidivists, was opposed to Fulham, Roy Hodgson’s brand favourite pastime, in a final that might have surprised more than one of us, considering the semi big names enrolled in the competition in January like Juventus, Liverpool, Benfica… So how could I waste more space for what seems to be an overly erratic introduction? Because in all truth, and like most finals, the game was so slow to start: ten minutes of observation, just enough time to get comfortable with the various names. After all these shenanigans, Atletico finally manage to create the danger in Fulham’s box thanks to their ball possession, Forlan hits the post (12th) after Aguero recpurates, Reyes pushes Schwartzer to a nice save (16th) and the blond haired Uruguyan striker misses his chance a second time (17th). To counter such offensives, Fulham turn to their giant Zamora, sending in long deep crosses that he can easily put down and distribute to his teamates. Gulliver in Lilliput. Davies tries his luck too (20th), Aguero devours all of Fulham once, then twice, Murphy become a metronome and Quique Flores looks better with wet hair. The wet pitch provides us with enough entertainment not to fall asleep, between the slips and the approximate passes. From a miserable Konchesky pass, Reyes flies down the right flank, picks out Simao standing outside the box, the pass to Aguero is poor, the Argentine’s volley is even weaker (in every sense) but Forlan, on the offside’s thin red line, is there for the tap in. 1-0, 32nd. We now expect the Colchoneros to put on the turbo and trash the poor Cottagers in the next five minutes. That would be overestimating them, again. At the image of a dreadful season, the Madrilenes loose the opportunity, while Zamora eats Dominguez and Perea in two movement, delivering a more or less correct pass to Gera, whose deflected cross finds Davies’ volley. 1-1, 37th. Five minutes of folly with appropriate goals, and we’re back at the start. Atletico possess the ball and end the first half with 5 consecutive corners, three shots on target but no goals.

The second half is proof that everyone is human. From Perea’s horrible defense, to Duff’s outdated dribbles through Zamora’s exit because of his injured ankle, the game becomes sacked with multiple fouls and mistakes. Forget the Champion’s League with its impermeable defences and five-star strikers, this game has a strange World Cup feel, where two teams, both tetanised by the stakes, stick to the basics: crosses, two touch passes, teamwork and safety. A good preview of what first round games might be like this summer (I’m so excited btw…) Salvio and Jurado appear to replace Simao and Reyes on the Spanish side, Dempsey and Nevland for Zamora and Duff on the English side. Extra-time awaits, amidst the poor shots and useless crosses. Extra time-arrives. More of the same in the exhausting extra half an hour: Salvio with some efficient dribbles, Etuhu with his tremendous haircut, Hodgson eating the inside of his cheeks. By the end of the first fifteen, Forlan The Killer decides to take matters into hands, dribbles all of the defence twice, infiltrates the box, delivers a sublime back pass, asking solely to be tapped in, but both Aguero and Salvio are out of the tempo (105th). The omen was too obvious to ignore. As the Brits calmly wait for the penalties, the Spaniards push once more. Aguero fulminates whoever was in front of him (it seriously didn’t matter tonight) on the left flank, delivers a clever cross to Forlan (who else?), the tap in is dirty, but the goal is valid! 2-1, 116th. The shirt goes off, we see Forlan’s muscles as Schwartzer lies on his goal line, swallowing gallons of rain, closing his eyes. The sermon is concluded as Forlan delivers his teammates. Atletico win their first title in 48 years and simultaneously ends a miserable dry rotten-lucked fate. So there it is, the first ever final of the Europa League, most typical of any final, where only mistakes and folly can provoke goals. As for its predecessor, the Europa League is a good way to give these lesser known teams a taste of European glory, although we all know the trouble comes after the final win in trying to materialize such exposure (Sevilla, Shaktor and CSKA know all too much about it). Let’s hope something will change so that we won’t have to name this one the “Uefa Cup 2” (or the “Youfuckuptoo”).

Grades

            My mamma always told me not to judge, so tonight I won’t, at least not publicly. As a replacement though here are some of the disappointments, surprises and confirmations on both sides. (I haven’t given up on judging, believe me, it’s quite time-consuming though)

Atletico Madrid             Undoubtedly the man of the match, Diego Forlan showed us tonight what made him become European top scorer last season: cold bloodedness and practicality. Gallas and Abidal can start being scared, he’s coming. Aguero once again shined by his vivacity and promptness with two assists and a lot of work, whether as striker and/or winger. Noteworthy as well was 19 years old De Gea performance in goal, cool and clean, just like Domiguez. The rest of the team was up to par, except 55 year old Perea, whose terrible defending could have cost the title, had it not been for Fulham’s lack of striking power. Horrible, horrible, horrible, and now we all understand why Atletico’s season went to hell after a couple of months (see, I still judge after all).

Fulham
            Having a diminished Zamora impacted the game plan a lot more than I expected, especially since Duff was in a “NO night”. Gera revealed himself terribly efficient in taking advantage of open spaces, whilst Davies tried his luck more than anyone else on the field tonight. The two wing backs were much less convincing, letting Reyes and Aguero slip by on multiple occasions (ok ok, it is hard to mark El Kun Aguero). Except for the two flipper goals, the defence had a calm night, easily towering over the Spanish attack, sending every cross clear.