The Most Unsuitable Pet

Arctic Monkeys - Dangerous Animals

            It was the headliner. Both Barcelona and Inter had already shown their muscles in this Champion’s League, respectively against Arsenal and Chelsea (bye-bye EPL…), but this had a faint taste of the European final before the due hour. On the Barca side, the hyperbolas were running low, as no one still knows how to qualify Guardiola’s gladiators, Messi in the first row. On the Inter side, once subscribed to failures and disappointment, the team was becoming more Mournhian by the minute, finally aligning results on the European level. Add to that innumerable duels: the ex players Eto’o-Motta and Maxwell-Ibra; the ex Real Madrid Cambiasso, Samuel and Snejder; Mourinho’s first steps as Barcelona’s “translator”; the two Milito brothers (one on each side); the Special One against the Magical One; tactics vs. technique and you’ve got a semi-final anyone can (and should) adore. Symbolism, tension, high stakes, and think that I’m an Inter fan, go figure how easy it was to stay “objective” in this game report.

Inter: Julio Cesar – Maicon, Lucio, Samuel, Zanetti – Cambiasso, Motta, Pandev (!!) – Snejder – Milto, Eto’o.
Barcelona: Valdes – Alves, Pique, Puyol, Maxwell – Xavi, Busquets, Keita – Messi, Ibrahimovic, Pedro.

            Forget the high pace of last round’s Arsenal-Barcelona, the flowing game, the fair play, it’s barely been a minute of play and it already seems like we are watching the 70th minute of a Serie A game. Midfield battle, half-ass chances (Ibra, 2nd), unfruitful free kicks, unfruitful corner kicks, offsides, approximations, shirt pulling and referee looking. Inter let’s Barcelona play around with the ball and soak up most of the pressure thanks to a dense back four line. Milito and Messi both try to get advantageous free kicks, Keita tries his luck (and by luck, I really mean luck), wide (7th). To the Blaugrana’s poised passing game Inter respond with a very English kick-and-rush approach. Motta and Busquets play with their elbows, Pique reads the game, Samuel gives me the shivers. The first real chance comes about at the 19th minute when Valdes poorly clears Eto’o’s weak shot, to see Milito send the ball back across the empty box, but no one picks it up. The reaction is immediate and fatal. Maxwell devours the left flank, Maicon is on a Brazilian beach, the back pass is to a flying Pedro who easily beats Julio Cesar with his left. 1-0. The stadium falls quiet and the replay shows the action started from a poor clearance by Lucio… No time to dwell for the Nerazzuri who, granted a bit more of ball possession and free kicks, launch innumerable attacks over Puyol, mostly to offside players. Snejder and Pandev combine to send Milito on the left side of the box, almost exactly where he crossed it previously, but the shot only flirts with Valdes’ post (27th). The equalizer comes three minutes later when Eto’o weakly crosses the ball from the right of the box, Milito and Pandev suck Alves in front of goal, Il Principe shifts Snejder, shot, goal. 1-1. San Siro erupts. Hope is alive. Pandev nutmegs Alves, Pique intercepts long passes some more, Messi receives Cambiasso in the face (he’ll get revenge), Ibrahimovic is lost amidst the whistles and Busquets finally gets a yellow.  None of the teams can get their foot on the ball. Two whistles, end of first half.

            A surprising 1-1 score at half time, courtesy of defensive mistakes by the two supposedly best right backs available nowadays. Conclusions? None.

            The second half starts and Mourinho’s speech still resonates in the Nerazzuri’s ears: Zanetti’s armband shines as he contains Messi and Pandev looses some more hair on a missed tap-in (47th). Inter shows a lot more will and conviction. Motta recuperates hardly on Messi, Pandev takes a pleasant stroll from his half to the opponent’s, launches Milito, Maicon rushes in, manages the slightest of the slightest of touches past Valdes and 2-1 for the home side (48th). The game (finally) quickens up, Puyol gets a yellow card making him miss the return game, Julio Cesar displays his talent on two reflex saves (52nd and 54th), Pique also receives a yellow card, Zanetti and Cambiasso put Messi on a leash, Xavi can’t see past Motta, Ibrahimovic is still offside from the first half (they switch side at half time, Zlatan), and the ball remains in the horribly pink jersey’s feet. Thiago Motta impresses his ex school mates once again by recuperating on Messi, launches Eto’o whose cross falls to Snejder. The Dutchman’s header is horrible but luckily Milito has followed (possible offside). 3-1, 61st. It doesn’t take a genius to understand what happens next. Barcelona monopolize the ball and align the chances. Abidal’s cross spreads panic in front of Julio Cesar, Messi tries to find a way through the maze before knocking Maicon’s teeth out and breaking his jaw (revenge indeed, although not voluntary), Milito gets a well deserved standing ovation, Samuel blocks Pedro’s shot (77th), Messi sends a free kick into Julio Cesar’s hands (78th) and the game becomes messy. As opposed to Messi. Alves gets a penalty kick taken away from him whilst Pique becomes a forward, seeing his shot saved on the line in extremis by Lucio (87th). Pedro attempts a desperate last minute bicycle kick without success. No can do, the final score is 3-1 for Inter, and mostly for Mourinho. The suspense is not over yet though, as Barcelona are famous for being much more prolific at home than away, mostly because Messi finds his marks faster (ask Arsenal and Bayern). Conclusions? None.

Grades

Inter – 8: Nothing less would have done against Barcelona. Patience, solidarity strength, pragmatism and a bit of luck. Unfortunate to have conceded the first goal because of a quick mistake, is this finally the year for Inter? Forza Inter.

Julio Cesar – 7: Not the hardest saves of his life for JC tonight, yet the most crucial.

Maicon – 7.5: The mistake on the first goal is forgiven thanks to a game of the utmost intensity and a goal worth its weight in gold.

Lucio – 6.5: Flimsy at the start of the game, Lucio (like Maicon) made up by intervening more than once on Ibrahimovic and Pique. 

Samuel – 7: The Wall has returned.

Zanetti – 9: 9 might be excessive, but when you are 36 and can contain Messi, help Balotelli on the last counter attack, create fouls and lead a team, nothing seems excessive.

Cambiasso – 8: Great game for the Gaucho, ready to report for duty, ambassador on a fatal midfield, as always.

Motta – 7: Amidst his early approximations, Thiago showed his old side that changing positions could change a player, just by being at the origin of the two goals. Simple when you think of it.

Pandev – 7: Aligned at a surprising midfield position, Goran showed the utility of his polyvalence.

Snejder – 7.5: Closely marked by a vigilant Busquets, Wesley still managed to live up to his reputation of best Trequartista around with a caffeine-goal and other delicious passes.

Milito – 8: If you wondered why he had to step off the field because of cramps, it’s because he gave two assists and scored the third. Il Principe soon to be king? 

Eto’o – 7.5: It was clear from his first action that Eto’o was going to be all over the place tonight, all he needs is the goal, and I pray it comes at the Camp Nou next week.

.Stankovic – 7: Participated well in the gameplan, just watch how Mourinho explained to him his task, by punching one hand into another…

.Balotelli – 3: Replacing Milito is never easy, but throwing the jersey to the ground at the end of  a game where his teammates did most of the work is bullshit. Our patience is not unlimited Mario.

.Chivu – 6: As a left back Christian filled in his duties well: kick the ball as far away as possible without fouling anyone.

Barcelona – 5: Not a poor game by any means, but Barcelona remained clueless when it came to piercing the Inter fortress. Unlucky decisions? In a way, everyone but them has had to deal with them recently… Messi dependance? The return game will tell. A tiring bus ride? Isn’t supposed to be fun to be stuck with you best friends on a bus?

Valdes – 5: Not to blame, not to idolize, typical Valdes.

Dani Alves – 5: Guilty on the first Inter goal, Dani might have deserved a penalty kick, the only productive thing he did tonight.

Pique – 7: Took things in charge defensively and offensively. Piquenbauer strikes again.

Puyol – 5: Very uneasy in defence, notably on Milito, Carles will miss the return leg, just like last time. Issues anyone?

Maxwell – 6: Sucked horribly for two seasons at Inter, took a personal revenge tonight, wasn’t enough defensively though where he often lost out to Eto’o.

Xavi – 5: Extremely subdued in Milan, couldn’t get through to Messi, or anyone else for that matter.

Keita – 5: Tried his hardest to push his teams to try their luck from OUTSIDE the box, but no one listened.

Busquets – 5: A Spanish Van Bommel.

Messi – 4: The Ballon d’Or was nowhere to be found in San Siro. Even his usual dose of chances weren’t converted into anything worthy of such a player. The tendency to be transparent outside his element confirms itself for Messi, at the despair of Maradona. 4 might be a bit harsh, but it’s harder against Inter than Arsenal huh?

Ibrahimovic – 3: Messi was transparent but still managed to get shots on target and attract danger. For his return home, Zlatan managed nothing but to make Eto’o regretted on the Barcelona side.

Pedro – 6: The only forward up to par with a goal and incessant activity. 5 for the performance, +1 for keeping Henry on the bench.

.Abidal – 4: His elegance and cool were no good in this game.